Talk like a woman. Think like a man

The other day my husband and I had a little disagreement. Nothing major. It was just enough to annoy me into verbalizing more than I should have. After a few minutes, I could tell my husband had lost interest in our discussion. He picked up the remote, turned on the TV and relaxed on the couch. I was very tempted to say, “Excuse me, but I’m not finished with our conversation.” But that would have been futile. Obviously, he was finished.

I sat on the far side of our curvy couch and fought the temptation to talk over the TV. Then I stole a look at him. He had moved on from our little discussion and was totally engrossed in the TV program. “How does he do that?” I asked myself. I was fighting the urge to argue. He had no urge to fight. My blood pressure was rising. He was stable and calm.

Finally, the cool hand of reason brought me to my senses: Why make a big deal out of something that doesn’t need to be dealt with? You talked like a woman. Now think like a man!

It has been said that a woman’s brain is like spaghetti–her thoughts, feelings and emotions are all intertwined and difficult to separate. Everything is scrambled with no easy exit. A man’s brain, on the other hand, is like a waffle. His thoughts are separated into neat little compartments and he can easily move from one to another with no overlap. Men can turn on and off as quickly as they can jump from one little box to another without looking back. They don’t need an exit. They just escape to the next compartment. Men have a definite advantage. It’s almost not fair.

The night of our disagreement, I decided to intentionally try to think like a man. Imagine turning spaghetti into a waffle. Messy! Plus, the flavor and texture are worlds apart. I suppose if everything is mixed, mashed and remolded, the compartmental concept can be created. I shoved the disagreement into a little mental box and forced myself to jump to a new topic of conversation. My husband never missed a beat. We engaged in pleasant banter for a while and shortly after, I headed for bed amazed at how easy it was to think manly thoughts. We have not discussed the “off-limits” topic since. Apparently the waffle compartments also have extremely tight lids.

My fellow females, try it. You’ll appreciate how good it feels to let things go. Although I have noticed an increased craving for spaghetti and I can’t imagine why.